Now, the story . . .
Today is the 3rd anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. And my beloved friends in New Orleans are once again packing up to evacuate. Please plead before the Father on their behalf!
This story is long, and I apologize, but it’s a story. I’ve left out some details for the sake of length but wanted to make sure that you understand the big picture.
Like I said, today is the 3rd anniversary of Katrina, which was the onset of a journey of struggle and revelation for which I am ever grateful but for which I also think back on and remember with great pain. Much of this pain came as the result of my own stupidity and sinfulness, but the reason that I tell this story today is because of God’s great redemptive nature. As I stated in my previous post, God is for us. He continues to show Himself faithful despite my unfaithfulness. One could call me a spiritual Gomer.
Let me preface my story with a bit of background information. During the time that I began to submit my application for seminary, I had no idea why God was calling me to that step. In college, I was sure that I wasn’t going to seminary and never even bothered to talk to the representatives when they came to the BSU—despite Ken’s proddings. But the summer that I submitted my application and tons of other forms, I had the opportunity to write a DNOW curriculum for my former youth minister’s organization, InQuest Ministries. I loved that writing experience so much so that I changed my major from Missions to Christian Education. But, I still had no idea why I was heading to seminary. But Stephen and I went obediently.
Two years after a VERY rough but fruitful time in New Orleans, I finally began my last year. Graduation was looming around the corner! I remember walking around campus after a day of classes and work early in August and feeling that something was awry—something would be different about this year. Then on August 27th, we found ourselves packing up one of our cars and heading to Georgia as we evacuated from the path of a smoldering category 5 hurricane. We were devastated and experienced such grief in that year. We gained weight, lost weight, were extraordinarily tired but couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate but wanted to be distracted. The burden of this grief and tragedy was tremendous. By the grace and strength of God, we wrestled through that year. I graduated in May. Not feeling that God was calling us back to NOLA, we waited for the next direction. The fourth and final move of that year was to Birmingham, where Stephen had accepted an incredible job.
I, however, not fully knowing why I was using the wireless connection in Panera, jobless but with my Master’s degree, continued to struggle with God’s calling on my life. Finally in September, I landed what I thought would be a temporary job at LifeWay. A month into it, I became an assistant manager. At that point, I began to realize that I hated retail more than I could have ever imagined. My self-esteem plummeted to new lows, and I wrestled with God. I finally decided that if He were not going to do something right with me, then I would just “show Him” by not talking to Him. It worked really, really well. God immediately changed my life—NOT. It did nothing but to make me more miserable. Over the following months, I began to study the Word more and to run back to my Father.
As I began to examine my gifts and desires, I realized that I wanted to write. Although I had loved writing, I was afraid to declare that as a calling because I wasn’t sure how God was going to work that out, and I didn’t want the two of us to be embarrassed. Wasn’t that thoughtful of me?
Last June, I emailed a favorite professor of mine who has done much writing. I asked her how I could become a better writer. Through divine circumstances, she replied to my email that she was no longer at the seminary but was the executive editor of Life Bible Study at Student Life (a ministry IN Birmingham, where I had applied a couple of times). Well, she invited me to become a writer for Life Bible Study, which I am continuing to do now. I was elated but still wanted a different job. In October, I also got a job in the publishing area of Student Life. It was an administrative position, but I liked it, loved the people, and it wasn’t my not-so-temporary job LifeWay. In the meantime, I was also contacted by my church (through contacts at Student Life) to do small group discussion guides based on the pastor’s sermons. So, I began that adventure and am still actively involved with writing for my church. Fun times, and all was as it should be.
Until April 1st. This past April, Student Life had to lay off several positions within the company, one of those being mine. We were allowed to work until the end of July, provided that we didn’t find another job. I was not at all happy about this situation, but I decided to trust God with it this time. I truly felt called to be at Student Life and to write. How was it going to work now? I told God that it was His responsibility to find me another job, so I was going to do what I needed to do but would watch to see how He worked this situation out. He didn’t seem to be working too quickly, which made me more anxious to see exactly what He was doing.
While in Breckenridge in June, I found out that my boss and a few others were laid off. Hmmm. A few days after Stephen and I returned from our vacation to Breckenridge, my new boss told me that it had worked out so that if I wanted to stay on part-time in my position, I could. Seeing as I had no other options and wanted desperately to stay with my team, I agreed. I quickly found out that two new full-time positions were being hired as editors for the student curriculum. Why was I not being considered? I had to ask this question, and I was deeply hurt that I was remaining in an administrative role when I had the calling and qualifications for one of these positions. Several interviewees come in. One was hired. The other position was in question. After one particular conversation between a co-worker and the new boss, it was made clear that I wanted the last remaining position. Apparently the new boss was somewhat clueless about this desire and agreed to interview me.
I interviewed two weeks ago, and officially accepted the job on Tuesday of this week. So I am now in an editorial position at Student Life. I’m nervous and excited but most of all praising God. This story of redemption from a year of feeling abandoned and forgotten is one that can only be told in an effort to give God the glory. He deserves it all. It’s been amazing to look back and see how God has redeemed our tears—this story is just one of many. I am sure there will be more to come, but I know that I can always trust in Him to be good, to be for me, and to glorify Himself.
This story is long, and I apologize, but it’s a story. I’ve left out some details for the sake of length but wanted to make sure that you understand the big picture.
Like I said, today is the 3rd anniversary of Katrina, which was the onset of a journey of struggle and revelation for which I am ever grateful but for which I also think back on and remember with great pain. Much of this pain came as the result of my own stupidity and sinfulness, but the reason that I tell this story today is because of God’s great redemptive nature. As I stated in my previous post, God is for us. He continues to show Himself faithful despite my unfaithfulness. One could call me a spiritual Gomer.
Let me preface my story with a bit of background information. During the time that I began to submit my application for seminary, I had no idea why God was calling me to that step. In college, I was sure that I wasn’t going to seminary and never even bothered to talk to the representatives when they came to the BSU—despite Ken’s proddings. But the summer that I submitted my application and tons of other forms, I had the opportunity to write a DNOW curriculum for my former youth minister’s organization, InQuest Ministries. I loved that writing experience so much so that I changed my major from Missions to Christian Education. But, I still had no idea why I was heading to seminary. But Stephen and I went obediently.
Two years after a VERY rough but fruitful time in New Orleans, I finally began my last year. Graduation was looming around the corner! I remember walking around campus after a day of classes and work early in August and feeling that something was awry—something would be different about this year. Then on August 27th, we found ourselves packing up one of our cars and heading to Georgia as we evacuated from the path of a smoldering category 5 hurricane. We were devastated and experienced such grief in that year. We gained weight, lost weight, were extraordinarily tired but couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate but wanted to be distracted. The burden of this grief and tragedy was tremendous. By the grace and strength of God, we wrestled through that year. I graduated in May. Not feeling that God was calling us back to NOLA, we waited for the next direction. The fourth and final move of that year was to Birmingham, where Stephen had accepted an incredible job.
I, however, not fully knowing why I was using the wireless connection in Panera, jobless but with my Master’s degree, continued to struggle with God’s calling on my life. Finally in September, I landed what I thought would be a temporary job at LifeWay. A month into it, I became an assistant manager. At that point, I began to realize that I hated retail more than I could have ever imagined. My self-esteem plummeted to new lows, and I wrestled with God. I finally decided that if He were not going to do something right with me, then I would just “show Him” by not talking to Him. It worked really, really well. God immediately changed my life—NOT. It did nothing but to make me more miserable. Over the following months, I began to study the Word more and to run back to my Father.
As I began to examine my gifts and desires, I realized that I wanted to write. Although I had loved writing, I was afraid to declare that as a calling because I wasn’t sure how God was going to work that out, and I didn’t want the two of us to be embarrassed. Wasn’t that thoughtful of me?
Last June, I emailed a favorite professor of mine who has done much writing. I asked her how I could become a better writer. Through divine circumstances, she replied to my email that she was no longer at the seminary but was the executive editor of Life Bible Study at Student Life (a ministry IN Birmingham, where I had applied a couple of times). Well, she invited me to become a writer for Life Bible Study, which I am continuing to do now. I was elated but still wanted a different job. In October, I also got a job in the publishing area of Student Life. It was an administrative position, but I liked it, loved the people, and it wasn’t my not-so-temporary job LifeWay. In the meantime, I was also contacted by my church (through contacts at Student Life) to do small group discussion guides based on the pastor’s sermons. So, I began that adventure and am still actively involved with writing for my church. Fun times, and all was as it should be.
Until April 1st. This past April, Student Life had to lay off several positions within the company, one of those being mine. We were allowed to work until the end of July, provided that we didn’t find another job. I was not at all happy about this situation, but I decided to trust God with it this time. I truly felt called to be at Student Life and to write. How was it going to work now? I told God that it was His responsibility to find me another job, so I was going to do what I needed to do but would watch to see how He worked this situation out. He didn’t seem to be working too quickly, which made me more anxious to see exactly what He was doing.
While in Breckenridge in June, I found out that my boss and a few others were laid off. Hmmm. A few days after Stephen and I returned from our vacation to Breckenridge, my new boss told me that it had worked out so that if I wanted to stay on part-time in my position, I could. Seeing as I had no other options and wanted desperately to stay with my team, I agreed. I quickly found out that two new full-time positions were being hired as editors for the student curriculum. Why was I not being considered? I had to ask this question, and I was deeply hurt that I was remaining in an administrative role when I had the calling and qualifications for one of these positions. Several interviewees come in. One was hired. The other position was in question. After one particular conversation between a co-worker and the new boss, it was made clear that I wanted the last remaining position. Apparently the new boss was somewhat clueless about this desire and agreed to interview me.
I interviewed two weeks ago, and officially accepted the job on Tuesday of this week. So I am now in an editorial position at Student Life. I’m nervous and excited but most of all praising God. This story of redemption from a year of feeling abandoned and forgotten is one that can only be told in an effort to give God the glory. He deserves it all. It’s been amazing to look back and see how God has redeemed our tears—this story is just one of many. I am sure there will be more to come, but I know that I can always trust in Him to be good, to be for me, and to glorify Himself.
posted by Jenny @ 10:53 AM
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